We’re beginning to understand the sudden ‘grief attacks’ that hit mourners

August 5, 2026 - 02:41

A few years ago, psychologist Sherman Lee was hit by a sudden wave of grief so intense it knocked him off his feet. It came without warning, long after the initial loss, and left him reeling. That personal moment sparked a deep dive into a phenomenon many mourners know but few can explain: the grief attack.

Lee, who studies loss at Christopher Newport University, found that these episodes are not ordinary sadness. They are sudden, overwhelming bursts of emotion that can feel like a physical blow. The heart races, the chest tightens, and the mind is flooded with memories, often triggered by something as small as a song, a smell, or a familiar face. What surprised Lee most was how all-consuming these attacks are. They do not just make a person cry. They can disrupt breathing, cause dizziness, and leave someone unable to function for minutes or even hours.

The research, published in a recent psychology journal, suggests that grief attacks are a normal part of mourning, not a sign of mental illness. They happen because the brain is still processing the loss, and certain cues can suddenly reactivate the pain. Lee compares it to a wound that heals on the surface but remains tender underneath. A sudden movement can tear it open again.

For those who suffer these attacks, the key is understanding they are not alone. Lee says that knowing grief can strike this way helps people prepare. He advises mourners to accept the attacks when they come, rather than fight them. Trying to suppress the emotion only makes it worse. Instead, finding a safe place to let the wave pass, breathing slowly, and reminding yourself that this is a natural response can help.

The study also found that grief attacks are more common in the first year after a loss, but they can happen years later. They are not a sign of weakness or a failure to move on. They are simply the mind's way of honoring a bond that was deeply important. As Lee puts it, grief is not a problem to be solved. It is a love that has nowhere to go. And sometimes, that love erupts without warning.